Donny Twimp

& Other Names For Our Popular Vote Losing Minority President


Popular Vote Losing Minority President Donny Twimp has been called many things, mainly, his actual name. We’re not going to do that here and we encourage you to avoid his unnecessarily triumphant-sounding name as well. 

So, herewith, we give you an almost-exhaustive list of alternate names by which to refer to our President. We prefer Donny Twimp, but you pick your fav, and utter the shit out of it:


White Kanye

Fabulous Whiner

Angry Cheeto

Melting Creamsicle

Guy who looks like he's wearing a Donald Trump costume

Facist Carnival barker

Racist Clementine

Fuck-face von clownstick

Short-fingered vulgarian

Agent Orange

Tanning bed warning label

Golden Wrecking Ball

Comedy Entrapment

Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole

Man with tiny hands

Human corncob

Angry Creamsicle

Demagoguing band of candy corn

Decomposing Jack-o-lantern

Uncle who hits on your wife at a funeral

Sociopathic, 70-year old toddler

Tangerine tornado

America's Black Mole

Orange Slug

Snake-oil salesman on 'Little House on the Prairie'

Comb Over Caligula

Corrosive Scrotal Clot

Pumpkin Cyst

The Human Cesspool

The Glandular Beast

The Talking Bunion

Tax Avoiding Miscreant

Genital Fondling Fiend


Darth Hater

Hair Furher

K-Mart Caesar

The Xenophobic Sweet Potato

Prima Donald

Barbecued Brutus

The Feral Shouting Meatball

Vanilla ISIS

The Talking Yam

Mango Mussolini

Cinnamon Hitler

Failed mail-order meat salesman

America’s Burst Appendix


Baldfaced Crier

Barbecued Brutus

Barrel-Shouting Meatball Donald Trump

The Bigoted Billionaire

Birther Maniac

Blitzkrieg Bozo

Boiled Ham in a Wig

The Boychurian Candidate


The Bouffant Buffoon


Butternut Squash

Captain Chaos

Cheez Doodle

Cheez Whiz

Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator

Daddy Warbucks

The Daft Draft Dodger

Dainty Donald

Darth taxeVader

Dehydrated Orange Peel

Diaper Donald

Dickhead Dongle

Dingbat Donald

The Dick Tate

Don the Con

Donald deGonad

Donald the Menace

Donnie Darko


The Emperor with no Balls

Genghis Cant

Gossamer-Skinned Bully

Great Orange Hairball of Fear


The Human Combover

The im-POTUS

Job Security (for Comedians)

Circus peanut

Trumpjelica pickle

Ivanka's Dad

The Human Corncob

Hurricane Donald

The im-POTUS

Jack the Gripper

John Boehner’s Tanning Partner in Crime

King of Debt

King of the Oompa Loompas

King of Sleaz

King of Spin

K-Mart Caesar

Little Donnie Sissypants

Little Dutch Boy

Maladroit Savage Spiraling Out of Control

The Michelangelo of Ballyhoo

Moneydiaper McStupid

The Man of Steal (made in China)

Mussolini’s Taint

Narcissistic Human Airhorn

Orange Anus

Orangeback Gorilla

Orange Bozo

Orange Caligula

Orange-Hued Self-Immolator

Orange Toilet Bowl Crud Brought to Life as a Genital-Grabbing Golem


Peripatetic Political Showman

Pile of Old Garbage Covered in Vodka Sauce

The Puerile Sophomoric Sniveler

Poster Child of American Decline

The Predictable Endpoint of Republicanism

Prima Donald

Queer Orangutan

Rabble-Rousing Demagogue

Republican Rapture Inducer

Riptide of Regression

Screaming Carrot Demon

Serial Feeler


The Shambling Sasquatch


Silver Spoon Donald

The Silver Spoon Scion

Snake Oil Salesman

Stubby Baby Fingers Trump

The Swamp Draining Lizard-Man-Toddler

Tangello Fruit Roll-Up Stretched Over Cat Litter Donald Trump

Tangerine-Tinted Trash-Can Fire

Terroristic Man-Toddler

The Tiny Fisted Emperor







Trumpling Dildo


The Twitter Terror

Two-Bit Caesar

Two Pump Trump

Vanilla Isis

Venom-Drenched Regurgitated Slimy Orange Hairball

The Wedgie from West Palm

World’s Greatest Troll

Xenophobic Sweet Potato Donald Trump

YUGE Asshole


Zen Master of Hate

Lord Voldemort

Tiny Hands Trump

Pixie Fingers Trump

Donald Duck

A guy who looks like he's actually wearing a Donald Trump costume

M. Night Orangeman

Orange Toupee-Hybrid

Like Godzilla with Less Foreign Policy Experience

Sentient Caps-Lock Button

Rome Burning In Man Form

Putin's Puppet

Comrade Trumputin

The Brooklyn Bolshevik

Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator

Cheeto Whiz

The Trump of Doom

King of the Whoppers

Mr. Wiggy Piggy

New York Pork Dork

Der Groepenfuehrer

Donald DeGonad

Duke Nuke 'Em

Dire Abby

Hair Hitler

Forrest Trump

Damien Trump

The Beast

Little Horn

Little Poop

The Great Whore of Babble-On


Whiny Little Bitch


Humpty Trumpty

Big Donald

Pig Donald

Mein Trumpf

Orange Julius

Combover Kid

The Presumptuous Nominee


Twat Twit

Truthophobic Twimp




Babycakes Trump

The Truculent Toddler

Petulant Man-Child Trump

The Boy President

President Evil

American Terrorist

Mr. So-Called-President

The White House Resident

White House Squatter

The Unprecedented President


The Snapper

The Tapp Dancer

Donald Dunderhead

The Twitter Flitterbug

Pander Bear

Tap-Drunk Trump

Bullshit Artist


Donald Dork

American Caligula

Mein Furor

The Smug Mug Thug

Child Emperor

Big Agenda

Tweet-aholic Twimp

Scattershot Autocrat

Pseudo Monarch

Ronald McDonald

Trump Bozo


Twitter Troll Trump

Carnage Incarnate

The Boss Baby Trump


Cheeto Benito


The Cheeto Prophet

Marmalade Mussolini

Persimmon Hitler

Butternut Soufflé of Seeping Death

The Persimmon Satyr

Orange Menace

Orange Foolius

Orange Mephistopheles

Habañero Hitler

Sunkist Stalin

Tangerine Voldemort

Cheeto Satan

Fanta Facist

Dreamsicle Demon

El Hombre de Tang

Orange Anusmouth

Mandarin Orange Mugabe

Tangerine Nutsack

The Orange Shitweasel

President Tang

Persimmon Toddler

Kim Jong Orange

Pantone Beelzebub

Minute Maid Ho

Papaya Batista

Sweet Potato Saddam

Doorknob Trundlefuck

Tropicana Mussolini

Mangled Apricot Hellbeast

Pumpkin Pinochet

Cheese Wiz

Lemonhead Elect

Peach Nehi President

Trump Brulée

Pumpkin Spice Satan

Tang Tyrant

Sunburned Stalin

Sunburned Stalin

Salmon Voldemort

Candy Corn Kremlin

Nacho Nazi

Yellow Death

Yellow Fever

Orange-Tufted Twitter Flitterer

Orange Muppet Hitler

Dorito Duterte

Kremlin Kontrolled Karrot

Papaya Pinochet

Orange 45


Lord Dampnut

Donald Dick


Orange Asshat

Fart-infused Lump of Raw Meat

Melting Pig Carcass

His Own Best Parody

Sun-dried Tomato

Cheeto-dusted Bloviator

Decomposing Ear of Corn

Melting Businessman

Soggy Burlap Sack

Man-sized Sebaceous Cyst

Enlarged Pee-splattered Sno Cone

Hair plug swollen with rancid egg whites

President Tiny Twitterfingers

His Cheetohness

La Trompeta

La Trompetilla


Empty popcorn bag rotting in the sun

Hairpiece come to life

Decomposing pumpkin pie inhabited by vicious albino squirrels

A dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots

Candied yam riddled with moldy spider carcasses

Enraged gak spill

The shriveled pinto bean you had to pluck out of your Chipotle burrito basket

Human-sized infectious microbe

Poorly-trained circus orangutan

Chester Cheetah impersonator

Lumbering human-like tardigrade

A tiny piece of dried cat poop that you found in your rug

Animated funnel cake

Seagull dipped in tikka masala

Bursting landfill of municipal solid waste

Mountain of rotting whale blubber

Sputum-filled Orange Julius

Gangrenous gaping wound

Racist, sexist block of aged Cheddar

Oversized wasp exoskeleton suffed with old mustard

Neo-fascist real estate golem

Abandoned roadside ham hock

Bewildered, golden-helmeted astronaut who's just landed on this planet from a distant galaxy

Monument to human hubris crafted out of rotting Spam

A walking pile of reanimated roadkill

Heaving carcass

Stately hot dog casing

Flatulent leather couch

Swollen earthwork gizzard

Narcissistic bowl of rotten gazpacho

Yellowing hunk of masticated gristle

A human/Komodo dragon hybrid

A pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball

Malignant corn chip

Human King Egg whose inner surprise is a tiny pebble of rat shit

The sculpture your three-year-old made out of soggy ground-up goldfish snacks

A man with the hair of a radioactive skunk

Roiling Cheez Whiz mass

Cryogenically frozen bog man

Screaming giant cheese wedge

Day-Glo roadside billboard about jock itch

Temperamental gelatinous sponge

Sentient hate-balloon

A Rumpelstiltskin inflated with a bike pump and filled with bacteria

Sun-kissed ass plug

Self-tanning enthusiast

Human-shaped was of Gak

Walking irradiated tumor

Uncooked chicken breast

KKK rally porta potty holding tank

Malfunctioning wind turbine

Seeping fleabag

Sloshing styrofoam takeout container filled with three-day-old mac and cheese

A sticky, grabby, Cheeto-hued toddler with no sense of adult deportment

A carnivorous plant watered with irradiated bat urine

Sentient waste disposal plant

Poorly-drawn facist

Racist teratoma

A hair that you pluck, causing a cluster of hairs to sprout in its place

Nacho cheese golem

A cartoon representation of Irritable Bowel Syndrome in a pharmaceutical ad

Fossilized meatball

Horking mole-creature suffering from radioactive spray-tan

Tattered Craigslist sofa

A full-grown Monopoly dog carefully balancing a sponge cake atop his head

Play-Doh factory explosion

A new superfood made of finely ground clown wigs

Unkempt troll doll found floating facedown in a tub of rancid Beluga caviar

The Lyin' King


Dolt 45!

Swampy McSwampface

Derp Fuhrer

Velveeta Mussolini

Captain Crazy Tweet

God Emperor Cheeto Jesus

Donut Tramp